Upon finally getting a dog, some thoughts:

1. There is nothing like a dog to exercise a dog.
2. Few things are less welcome than unsolicited dog advice.
3. If you are mad at a/your dog, you’ve forgotten your dog is a dog, and only does dog things, as one ought to expect of a dog.
4. There is definitely such thing as “dog envy,” in other words: people will talk shit about your dog.
5. A dog is never “trained,” they are always training.
6. ESA dogs are great for establishing routines: in other words, if you’re so depressed you aren’t going to get up in order to take care of your dog, you need medication.
7. “Come” is the most important command by far.